I could go on forever about how natural things are a part of my day… but i have lots to share (:
This weekend my parents decided to surprise us with our last visit to the shore! I was so happy and excited to get my last tan in before having to return to school and also to just get away and enjoy the sun for the last week of summer! Although going down the shore used to be full of fun and happy memories, during my disorder everything changed. It all became about having to walk everywhere, wearing to much clothing for the heat, and restricting. Now for those who have had disorders or even just a bad experience in a certain place, it is so hard to go back and try to give it a positive vibe again. When we arrived, the first day all was well. Second day, all things changed, i started restricting because wearing a bikini didnt make me happy, and all the bad thoughts just came back about all the rituals i used to perform while being there. Although i didnt totally relapse or not eat/ over excersise, things took a turn for the worst. I couldnt get myself to eat properly or feel good about my body. It was a horrible feeling and realization noticing that i can revert back so quickly. How thoughts can change with a snap of a finger. I always get so uncomfortable with my body and feelings whenever im not in the comfort of my own home, and thats NOT good. Soon, 2 years, ill have to go off to college and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I dont want to be stuck in a trap because im not in the normal routine of my day at home, I want to be able to adjust and not take advantage of being in a different atmosphere. I really have some searching to do on how i can be healthy, on my own. No parental, sister, or doctor guidance. Once and for all it needs to be for me, and this weekend surely showed me i wasnt doing much of anything for myself. I did make up for it, but after alot of weekend stuggles, i wish i could have enjoyed the weekend the way i wanted to, soft serve icecream, delicious seafood, dippin’ dots, cotton candy, all that good stuff and more. But instead i restricted those things and just stuck with my safe foods. I need to learn how to break this rut, i DONT want to be like this forever! At least i know ill be home until next summer and i can hopefully learn and identify what triggers me so bad down there.
Any suggestions to adjusting to new places?
Anyways, not all of my weekend was bad! We went to the zoo which was by far the funnest thing eva! I got to experiment with my new camera and take the most amazing pictures! Yes, ill share them with ya’ll (:
super fun day, I love the zoo!
Well, now that im done telling you about my weekend, let me show you the goods!
chicken catchitore with homemade tomato sauce, cauliflower and toast with pizza/ white bean hummus on the side
pears pear pair perfectly with…
figs and strawberries
with the addition of a new friend…
maple almond butter
oh my, first time trying this and im addicted already! half the jar down in about 3 days, how did that happen? ;)
So amazing, found it at the weirdest place though, TJ Maxxx? Yup, the most amazing treat in a clothing store, surprising yes, convenient, no! Its not even at any of my grocery stores but ill find it at a clothing shop, well at least i found it!
Pears pair prominently with,
sunbutter, oh yes, almost empty, you know what that means!
and strawberries for good measure
(oats were cooked in coconut milk!)
best combo ever! Pears and strawberries are the best combo! I definatly reccomend it while strawberries are still in season
nectarines and raspberries….
now were talkin ;)
nectarines are amazing mixed into oats! this bowl was peared paired with raspberries and peanut buttta
Also at TJ Maxx i found another great product…
ginger peanut sauce YUM!
I tried this the second i got home, paired it with ginger and caradom and cooked the sauce down with some pears and coconut milk for some sweetness
also served with a nix of roasted veggies (tomatoes, eggplant, yellow squash, spinach) with basil and garlic and a sweet potatoes cinnamon butternut squash mix
amazing home cooked meal! The sauce was unexpectedly hot! It had such a nice spice to it that really brought out the sweetness and the saltiness of the peanuts. So glad i decided to glaze the pears with the sauce, added great flavor
A+ meal! I would definatly have this ten times over
I guess ill be shopping at TJ Maxx more often, new grocery store?
Also had a switch in breakfast
No oats?! Nope, we ran out the last day so I had to comprimise…..
oh my, there are no words to explain the sweet phonomenal taste in which this sandwhich provided.
Perfect breakfast and alternative to oats right here
Instead of me rambling about how delicious this was, ill just tell you what was in it (:
Tj’s cinnamon rasisin walnut bread with sliced brie, pears, figs, almond butter and honey, grilled in smart balance to create…
please do yourself a favor and buy brie and some crazy awesome bread and pairs pears, you cant eat this without the pears! Baked them in the micro for a couple minutes with some cinnamon and wahlaaaa, perfection!
Last but not least, this was my challenge….
so on our way home we got stuck in traffic moving 5 mph! you can only imagine how annoying and crazy me my mom and sisters went sitting in a car together for 5 hrs! Half way through we all got starving, WAWA was the only stop on the way and it was around 2:30, i needed lunch! I went in and there was nothing i wanted. Yes they had healthy salads and such but I know that wouldnt be enough considering i hadnt eaten for a good 5 hours and probably wouldnt be home for a while. I finally comprimised with myself and thought about what I would really want and what my body needed…..
Hey! Not so bad right? This was a whole wheat short with turkey, honey mustard (gasp!) light provolone, tomato slices lettuce and red onions. Not bad not bad, i had no idea what the nutrition content or anything about it, didnt know the calories or portions, i just did what i wanted. Plain and simple, i felt so normal and relieved while eating this. Not one disordered thought entered my head as I devoured the hoagie, delicious and well deserved. This showed me i still have it in me to do what i want and what i know is right for my body.
big leap considering every other time we visit here, i dont even walk inside knowing im not going to get anything!
Also enjoyed a gala apple with naturally more on the way home, since that peanut butter is so amazing!
Anyways, ive got school tomorrow and lots to catch up on for my honors chem class! hopefully ill be able to post tomorrow!
Remember, no matter what ED is telling you, prove his irrational thoughts by doing something that YOU want and what you know is right, after the challenge is over with, youll feel unstoppable. He cant win…
Whats your favorite Almond Butter?
Whats your favorite thing to eat with pears?
Have a great night! Tell me about your weekends!
Great Oskios giveaway!